Male Bodies, Women's Souls by LeeRar Costa

Author:LeeRar Costa [Costa, LeeRar]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Science, LGBTQ+ Studies, Gay Studies, Sociology, General, Gender Studies
ISBN: 9781136443756
Google: 3JRkKCjg9bgC
Publisher: Routledge
Published: 2013-01-11T04:44:38+00:00

Tammy

Fourth-year student Hometown: Phetchabun

The life I did not choose to have.

I was born into this world very happy, but, alas, why, when I grew older, did I have to be unnatural [phid thamachaat]? As a child I really didn’t know anything about this. It might be because I was born in a country village. My life was, for the most part, bound up with nature. People were sincere with one another. When I was about six or seven I behaved in ways that today one might say were not normal for a young boy, because, when I think back, I should have played with boys, done things like boxing, which is normal for boys to do. But it wasn’t at all like that for me. I played shop with my older sister. I also liked to play with dolls, and wondered why my sister could wear a skirt but I couldn’t. One day I secretly tried on one of my sister’s skirts and put on my mother’s lipstick. I thought that I looked beautiful. I don’t know what you would call a boy who did these kinds of things as he grew up.

On my first day of grade school I was both frightened and excited. I guess this is a normal thing for a small child who has to go to school for the first time in his life. After a short time, I found that I liked being around my female classmates. At that time I didn’t understand why I was like this. I was satisfied by being riabroi. I’d get up, walk around, and sit down in a very careful and prim manner. Sometimes, male students would make fun of me, saying that I was riabroi and like a woman. There were some classmates who teased me by saying that I was a tut. I very much wondered what this word meant; it didn’t bother me, since I wasn’t at all interested in what kinds of words the kids were using. I just kept playing and having a fun time. Being polite helped me, as it endeared me to my teacher. But in one incident I was teased so much by classmates that I ended up getting hurt and bleeding. What happened was, one day while I had been happily running around and playing, the classmate I was playing with pushed me hard. I suppose he had gotten carried away with having fun. I wondered about it to myself, but didn’t openly respond in any way. I also don’t know why I didn’t tell the teacher or push the boy back. After I finished playing I went home. When I arrived home my parents saw the cut on my cheek; I hadn’t noticed that I had a cut or that it was bleeding. My parents were very angry. The next morning they went to talk to the teacher and demanded that the boy who had teased me be punished at once. They also asked if the teacher would

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